I Haven't Forgotten

Never did I ever think I'd see 1984 in 2025

I’m old. That means my life is probably not like yours.

Currently, I spend my days enduring moderate physical pain, unable to do some of the simplest things that give me great pleasure—like running and walking 20 to 25 miles a week out in the open air. Even walking a mile is difficult right now. In truth, I’ve lived with partial disability and pain and difficulties since 2020. I don’t say this in order to receive sympathy or any other similar strokes. It’s just my life.

But I remember when it wasn’t like this. 2019 was my last glorious year. I was newly retired at 68, finally financially stable even if not well-off, and beginning to travel often. I had plans for 2020 and beyond that were upended, first by the pandemic, then by the failure of my knees and legs, then by a broken shoulder and humerus that has wrecked the upper right quadrant of my body. (And, yep, I’m right-handed.)

All of this pain and lack of mobility, however, pale next to what has happened since about half the country decided to screw those who believe in the ideals with which I was raised.

I was born in the early Fifties. That decade was pretty conservative and not great for you unless you were white, preferably cis hetero male. But, fresh off WWII, we believed Nazis were evil. We believed in good works and public works, like the interstate highway system. I mention that one because my father worked on interstates as a road construction foreman and supervisor. Long days spent in dust and grit and heat and cold. Not a bad job for the child of immigrants, though, who had only a sixth grade education, if that. And we grew up with stuff like this:

This is not photoshopped or faked in any way. #DCComics put out this poster around 1950. I’ll post the link to their blog in the comments.

Yes, that’s how we were raised, at least nominally.

No, it wasn’t all good. Like I said, if you weren’t white cis hetero male, your life probably had a fair amount of hell in it. I know what it was like to grow up female and rebelled fiercely against the role of housewife and mother for myself. I had male friends who came out of the closet years later (I was engaged to one of them for a while). Watch some Mad Men episodes if you want to see how hostile business was to gay male employees. Lesbians/bi/trans folk were basically invisible (read Patricia Highsmith, The Price of Salt). The US demonized lots of nations and peoples while we did some pretty f’n bad shite all while saluting the flag and pledging allegiance.

I get that. Lots of things sucked balls for many. You know the rest of the song. However, most of us agreed: Nazis were the worst. No question. No wiggle room on that belief.

Guess who is in the White House now, with his fascist friendz handing down job losses and authoritarian edicts? And the ones we elected are just rolling over and accepting this horrendous bullshit? I mean, wtf, democrats?

As I said, I’m old and partially disabled these days. I really can’t march any more the way I did in my teens and twenties. I would never recover from a jail beating now. Or a rape (yeah, that’s happened to me too, but long ago). Or a gunshot wound. Taking a year to recover from multiple broken bones taught me my limits.

All I can do is use my words. And vote, assuming that choice is still open to us all in the future. Those of you younger and stronger than me, you must fight hard. You must keep going no matter what.

I think about my daughter and my grandson and all the generations after me, and all I can tell you is: I don’t want ANY of us to die in chains.

There’s work to be done. I’ll back you up with money and words as I can. Goddess speed to you.